What Writing Rules Do You Hate?
Anyone who has had me read their work can attest to the fact that I can be a tad, um … detail-oriented. *ahem* All right, I’ll admit it. I’m a nit-picky perfectionist, even on beta-reads.
I know, I know. I’m trying to control this tendency. Beta-reading shouldn’t involve line-editing. And I owe more beta-reads than I have time to line-edit, so it’s in my best interest to scale back my overly abundant comments.
But it’s hard for me to not say anything once I notice an issue. If I see a misplaced comma, a missing word, dialogue tags that should be beats and vice versa, improper punctuation for dialogue tags/beats, unnecessary sentence fragments, or any of a hundred other broken “rules”, I have to sit on my hands until the urge to correct the problem passes.
Except for one.
Do you know what rule I won’t correct? I’ll give you a hint. I broke it two paragraphs up.
Need another hint? There are three rules for using other punctuation with quotation marks:
- All commas and periods should go inside quotation marks. (She said, “Hi.”)
- All colons and semicolons should go outside quotation marks. (She rattled off her grocery “list”: something green, something healthy, and something chocolate.)
- Question marks and exclamation marks should go inside quotation marks when they apply to the quoted words (She asked, “Why?”), and they should go outside quotation marks when they apply to the unquoted words of the sentence (Would she ever forget this “incident”?).
It might be hard to believe this statement coming from a stickler like me, but I hate rule number 1 when it applies to scare quotes, air quotes, irony quotes, whatever you want to call them. After all, they’re meant to emphasize certain words, so shouldn’t rule number 3 apply to comma and periods when used with scare quotes?
But alas, that is not the rule. The comma in my sentence above should have gone inside of the quotes, like so:
…a hundred other broken “rules,” I have to sit on my hands….
Yes, it’s okay to stop and scoff at just how bizarre I am. Not only do I know this somewhat obscure rule, but I have the desire to break it—on purpose—all the time. And this isn’t a my-voice-demands-an-occasional-sentence-fragment type of thing. This isn’t a voice thing at all. This is a I-plain-hate-the-rule-and-think-it’s-stupid thing. I am a punctuation usage wanna-be rebel! *roar*
Or more likely, I’m a complete dork.
However, I’m a dork with Google skills. That’s why I know the only reason that rule exists is because with the invention of printing presses, the puny little period and comma pieces were placed inside the quotation marks to protect them from breakage. My method of ordering the punctuation even has a name: logical style. Hah! Logical. I am so right about this stupid rule.
But what do I do in my manuscripts? If I ignore the rule, agents and editors would assume I don’t know the rule, and I might lose the tiniest bit of respect in their eyes. And that bit of respect might tip the scales from a “yes” to a “no.” So, just like I did in the previous sentence, I *grumble grumble* follow the inane rule of punctuation placement, even though it’s completely illogical.
Are there any writing rules you hate? Do you love starting a scene with unattributed dialogue? Do you hate remembering all the rules for commas? Do you *gasp* have a prologue? What are your writing rule pet peeves?
Thanks so much for clearing this up for me. Personally, I punctuate from the heart. However, I will periodically listen to instruction when it’s delivered this well. All the best.
Hi Piper,
LOL! Yes, you know me and my teacher heart, so I just had to include the official rules to turn my rant into something productive. 🙂
And before I started on this path, I’d follow my instinct when it came to grammar stuff (as I’d never learned any of it in school). I’ve since discovered that although my instinct was usually right, there were a few mistakes in there too. Thanks for the comment!
I’m with you on the logical way. And I hear ya about the urge to line edit everything. I have that compulsion too. That’s why it’s taking me forever to get through the contest entries I’m judging. I should’ve just stuck with judging for the GH since you can’t do any inline suggestions on that one, lol.
Hi Roni,
Woo hoo, another vote for logic! Now if only we could get the rest of the U.S. to go along with us. 🙂 According to that Wikipedia entry I linked to, this is more a U.S. thing than a UK thing.
Yep, I helped out with a chapter contest a few months ago, and each entry of 20 pages took me about 2-5 hours to get through. *sigh* I’m looking forward to judging these Golden Heart entries specifically because I can’t do that. Thanks – glad to know I’m not the only one!
I agree. Commas and periods make more sense placed outside air quotes. Maybe if more established authors broke Rule 1, the rule would change. Another funny thing I’m seeing a lot is the personal pronoun “I” not capitalized, even on “serious” websites. Not sure what to make of that one.
Yes! Another vote for logic. 🙂 Thanks!
Huh. I haven’t seen that lower case “I” before. That rule-breakage doesn’t make sense. (Back to stickler mode.)
I follow the logical style rule, but I think it’s silly. Kind of like ending a sentence in a preposition: Sometimes it sounds awkward not to. Also, I like to start sentences with conjunctions. But I know it’s incorrect.
Hi Austin,
The logical style (punctuation outside of quotes unless they were part of the original quote) makes sense. It’s the typesetter style (all commas and periods inside quote marks, no matter what) that I think is silly. That’s what you meant, right? 🙂
And yes, I’ll end with prepositions occasionally (when I’d have to do sentence structure gymnastics to avoid it), start sentences with conjunctions, and even use sentence fragments. But that’s more on a case-by-case voice basis. Thanks for the comment!
Yeah, typesetter is what I meant. I tend to treat commas and periods like question marks when it comes to quotation marks: If it applies to the word, then it’s inside.
As to starting sentences with conjunctions and the ever-popular (or unpopular) sentence fragments, you have to know the rules to break them. I should make that my motto.
Exactly! 🙂 And I think that would be a great motto!
Wow, did you write this post for me? Commas? Oh, boy!
Actually, now that you’ve listed it all this stuff. I think I hate beat versus tags, too. *shrug* Alright, I confess, I do eenie, meenie, miney, moe with them. 😉
Did I bedazzle you with all those pesky commas?
Murphy 😀
Hi Murphy,
No, I didn’t write the post for you, but I might have had you a teensy bit in mind with the comma question at the end. 😉
I used to be the Grammar Nazi from Hell, but have had to learn to lighten the hell up if I hoped to ever accomplish anything in life LOL.
Great blog!
Hi Kristen,
Yes, line-editing everything takes way to much time. 🙂 (Spoken with the voice of experience…) Thanks for the comment!
I am so glad you asked. My number one hated rule would have to be the one on prologues. I love prologues. I think they are handy dandy notebook. Then again, I am also a fantasy writer, so I have more use for them. But still!
Thanks for the post.
Hi A.J.,
Heh. You won’t find me disagreeing, as I have a prologue in my completed story. 🙂 I’ve tried to figure out how to get rid of the “evil” thing, but no can do. Even two editors I consulted with told me it has to stay. Well, um, okay! LOL!
Thanks for the comment! And have fun with those prologues. 🙂
Hi Jami, old buddy!
Man, I have me a serious em dash and ellipsis issue. I like them. I think they add nicely to the pacing of a book. It may be that I like them too much. What do ya’ll think about these slippery, little buggers?
Hi Janet,
Oh yeah, I used to have a serious em dash and ellipsis issue too. Like an every paragraph or so issue. Sometimes even multiple ones in a paragraph. Yeeks.
The problem is they lose their impact when used too often. Now I save the em dashes for when they’re really needed. I was able to convert 70% of my em dashes to commas, and I converted another 10% to sentence fragments (yep, I exchanged one sin for another – LOL) when I wanted to really emphasize a break and the contrast. And even with that, I still average one usage a page. 🙂 (My characters interrupt each other a lot.)
With ellipses, I found that I was using them mid-sentence (when characters struggled for a word), and that’s technically not the right way to use them. They’re a trailing off, not a pause. So I have those much less frequently now.
Like exclamation marks, they’re both one of those things that no matter how many you get rid off, you can probably get rid of more. (That’s what your editor will say anyway. 🙂 ) Thanks for the comment!
Thanks for the info, Jami! I will watch them more closely from now on. May I ask… (see what I did there?) What do you normally do, in a mid sentence pause?
Hi Janet,
I figured that question was coming. Maybe I really should do that blog post about it. 😉 Can you wait until next week for the answer.
THANK YOU for clarifying the rules for commas and semicolons–those are the most common errors I see when I’m editing. Unlike you, I REALLY LOVE having commas and periods inside quotes and it drives me nuts to see them used improperly–no matter how the rule came about. The thing that makes me roll my eyes when people read my work is having them mark sentence fragments. I use them a lot, especially in dialogue and deep POV because that is how people think and talk, especially heterosexual males.
Hi Suzanne,
Hmm, I guess I still like you anyway, especially as you’re a fan of sentence fragments. 😉
I used to never use fragments (because I had the handy-dandy Word program yelling at me every time I did), but my writing came out too formal. Now, I’m like you, I use them in dialogue and deep POV because that’s more natural sounding. Thanks for the comment!
I am guilty. I know rules are there for a reason. But sometimes I break them anyway! Sometimes there are good reasons to break them… 😀
Hi Lisa,
Yes, I think many writing rules come down to “once you understand them, you know when and how to break them.” 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
Preach on, sister.
I was an English teacher for sixteen years and am a bit of a stickler (geek), too.
But the quotation mark rules need to be adjusted. (And I think it’s okay to begin a sentence with a conjunction or even to write sentence fragments when it’s a style choice.)
I used to tell my students that they could break rules if they first knew the rules and then had a reason to break them.
Sounds like your logical rule for quotation marks fits that bill.
Carry on. 😉
Hi Julie,
Woo hoo! I have approval from a teacher–an English teacher, no less. Just one thousand or so agents and editors to go. 🙂
Thanks for the comment!
Hmm, I guess I lean towards the punctuation inside the quotes, otherwise it just looks so weird to me, very “the cheese stands alone.” I have a pet peeve for writers that use the same adjective over and over. If it’s necessary, fine, but it can degrade the story too if the reader is bored of hearing about the same thing. (ex. I LOVED the Twilight series, but Stephenie Meyer did use the word ‘russet’ to describe Jacob all the time in the first book. I just wanted some other trait about him.)
Hi Jessi,
Ha! “The cheese stands alone.” I like that (even though I don’t like the rule). 🙂
Ugh, I agree about using variety in word choice. There’s one very well-known paranormal author with a long series that I can’t read because every single hero is described with the same exact voice and every single heroine is described with the same body shape. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
I hate trying to remember all the rules. Really, they just need to be simpler. Lol. So of course I’m on board for rule breakage on this one. ;p
Hi Elisa,
Yay! Another vote for logic. And I’m fine when rules makes sense, but when they don’t, I have a hard time remembering them too. 🙂
Having forgotten most of the rules of grammar, I generally jitterbug freely through my compositions–and no, it’s not just to bug English teachers. Mrs. Mary Orr of seventh grade will always be a sweet memory. “I didn’t say you were a good writer. I said you wrote interesting sentences.” Some journalism class in college gave me the opportunity to set type. Take it out of little drawers and place it carefully, in reverse, into small wooden boxes. Fun with obsolete technology. Several years ago I threw out the typesetter rules for quotation marks, opting for the logical system. Also gone: the prohibitions against splitting infinitives, ending a sentence with an infinitive, and beginning a sentence with a conjunction. What will never go 1: the prohibition against mixing number in order to avoid saying the dread his. “Each student will turn in their paper”–NOT! “Each student will turn in his or her paper”–NOT! “Each student will turn in his paper.” Or, if it’s a class of girls, then, “Each student will turn in her paper.” What will never go 2: The requirement to use the proper case for pronouns. “This invitation is for she and I.” When I hear that sort of thing, I want to hunt, trap, skin, and cook the perpetrator. Where does that particular disaster come from? Quibble: Our language lacks a half-height exclamation mark. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to show that a sentence was spoken with vigor but not alarm? Yeah. I want a… — Read More »
Hi Texanne,
LOL! Yay, another vote for logical.
Yep, I hate the “his or her” stuff too. Hmm, a half-exclamation point? That would be interesting. Thanks for the comment!