Smeagol Presents: The Hunger Games

In honor of April 1st—otherwise known as April Fool’s Day—I have a silly treat for you.  Many of you know my Tech Guy, as he’s not only an awesome Jedi Master of everything computer, but he’s also a beta reader extraordinaire and all-around goofball.

Recently, I uncovered yet another one of his talents: voices.  In particular, he does a good imitation of Sméagol/Gollum from Lord of the Rings.  He made the mistake of sharing a story with me about how he started reading his daughter’s copy of Harry Potter in the Sméagol voice and an idea was born.

With the recent release of The Hunger Games movie, we decided to use that book for his debut reading here at my blog.  I’m pleased to present my Tech Guy, appearing as Sméagol, reading an excerpt from The Hunger Games:

(Or for a direct link, click here: Smeagol Presents: The Hunger Games)

“The mayor reads the list of past District 12 victors. In seventy-four years, we have had exactly two. Only one is still alive. Haymitch Abernathy, a paunchy, middle-aged man staggers onto the stage. He’s drunk. Very. He tries to give Effie Trinket a big hug, which she barely manages to fend off.

The mayor looks distressed. He quickly tries to pull the attention back to the reaping by introducing Effie Trinket.

Bright and bubbly as ever, Effie Trinket trots to the podium and gives her signature, ”Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be ever in your favor!” Her pink hair must be a wig because her curls have shifted slightly off-center.

Through the crowd, I spot Gale looking back at me with a ghost of a smile. As reapings go, this one at least has a slight entertainment factor. But suddenly I am thinking of Gale and his forty-two names in that big glass ball and how the odds are not in his favor. And maybe he’s thinking the same thing about me because his face darkens and he turns away.

It’s time for the drawing. Effie Trinket says as she always does, “Ladies first!” She reaches in and pulls out a slip of paper. The crowd draws in a collective breath and then you can hear a pin drop, and I’m feeling nauseous and so desperately hoping that it’s not me, that it’s not me, that it’s not me.

Effie Trinket smoothes the slip of paper, and reads out the name in a clear voice. And it’s not me. It’s Primrose Everdeen.”
[Note: Text has been abridged for length.]

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

How do you think he did?  Pretty good, right?  I wonder how many more of these I can wrangle him into making for us.  *smile*