Pitch Prep: How to Write a Pitch

This week we’re preparing for the Pitch Your Shorts pitch session coming here January 10th.  Even if you’re not pitching this time, stick around.  Today we have The Ultimate Guide to Pitch Writing.  (Thursday’s post will cover story openings.)

The Ultimate Guide to Pitch Writing

Pitches fall into many categories, from loglines and elevator pitches to queries and pitch sessions.  Essentially, they all perform the job of letting an agent or editor “speed date” through many submissions.

Pitches aren’t about selling a manuscript.  Their sole purpose is to get to the second date—a request.

Basic Pitching Advice

Let’s first start with the basics.  These tips can apply to all of our writing, but are especially important when we have only a sentence or paragraph to make an impression.

• Be specific: Details can make even the most formulaic story sound interesting.  Avoid cliches by being less vague.
• Be brief: Whether we’re pitching a short story or a novel, we have to make every word count.  (“bully” vs. “mean kid”)
• Be clear: Our audience hasn’t read the story.  Convoluted sentences and subtext/allusion don’t work with speed-reading or listening.
• Be appropriate: The tone of the pitch should match the story and genre (comedies should have amusing pitches, etc.).
• Be narrow: Focus only on the main characters and the core conflict of the plot.  This tip goes double for any pitch shorter than two paragraphs.
• Be visual: Instead of character names, create a picture with adjective noun combinations (tax-evading fireman, vegetarian vampire, etc.).
• Be active: Use active verbs to describe the plot conflict (“struggles” is better than “decides,” etc.).  Themes and character arcs aren’t a story.

Core Elements of a Pitch

Stories have characters, goals, motivations, and conflicts.  We see the same elements in pitches.  All pitches, no matter their format, give us an idea about:

• the protagonist (character),
• the antagonist (person or situation to overcome) (goal),
• what’s at stake (motivation),
• and the obstacle (conflict).

In addition to making all that clear, pitches should also:

• focus on what changes (not what happens),
• show the story world (genre, romance potential, etc.),
• include a hook or unique element,
• and show emotional appeal (the “why should we care” factor).

Easy-peasy, right?  *smile*

Methods for Writing a Pitch

There is no “perfect” pitch, so rather than trying to come up with something brilliant (that I can’t duplicate with my own stories to save my life), I’ll touch on the various pitch-building methods out there.  Some stories might lend themselves to certain approaches more than others.

(Click on the links following some of the methods for more information about how to put a pitch together using that approach.)

• Focus on the Stakes:

Complete this formula: An ADJECTIVE NOUN (protagonist) must ACTIVE VERB the ANTAGONIST before  BAD THING HAPPENS (which would prevent the protagonist from reaching his/her goal).

• Focus on the Goal:

Complete this formula: An ADJECTIVE NOUN (protagonist) wants GOAL WITH ACTIVE VERB because MOTIVATION (why the protagonist wants it), but he/she must first OBSTACLE/ANTAGONIST WITH ACTIVE VERB and STAKES WITH ACTIVE VERB.

• Focus on the Conflict:

Complete this formula: When OPENING CONFLICT happens to CHARACTER(s), they have to overcome OBSTACLE to GOAL. (via Nathan Bransford)

• Focus on the Obstacles:

Identify the protagonist and what they want and why.  Describe what keeps him/her from getting it.  Think along these lines: SOMEBODY wants SOMETHING and has a HARD TIME GETTING IT. (via Jane Friedman)

• Focus on the Twist:

Identify what’s unique about the protagonist and what connects that to the core conflict and the inciting incident or first turning point.  That plot point is where the story changes to put the protagonist in a bind and is often a “gotcha.” (via Janice Hardy here and here)

• Focus on the Choice:

Identify the protagonist, the choice he/she faces (conflict), and the consequences of that choice (stakes). (via Query Shark)

• Focus on the Inciting Incident

Identify genre/setting, what makes protagonist unique, inciting incident, core conflict, and consequences of failure.  Unlike the Focus on the Conflict method, this approach often only hints at the goal. (via Stina Lindenblatt)

• Focus on a Question:

Identify the Character, Situation (why the protagonist has to act), Objective (goal), Opponent (antagonist), Disaster (obstacle).  Sentence one states the character, situation, and objective.  Sentence two is a yes/no question asking if character can overcome the opponent and disaster. (via Camy Tang)

(Note that Camy mentions using the Black Moment for the Disaster, but many sources say to limit pitches to the first third or so of a story, so this might instead be the first turning point in the plot.)

• Focus on the Emotions:

Brainstorm all the themes, events, climaxes, and words that describe the story, main characters, struggles, and emotions.  Pick the most important and compelling words or phrases and combine in the pitch. (via Nicola Morgan)

• Focus on the Character:

Identify the protagonist’s flaw, the job or situation that forces him/her to deal with that flaw, the action he/she takes to overcome the flaw, and what he/she wants (and is prevented from getting because of the flaw).  Flaw + Situation + Action + Goal (via Cyndi Faria)

• Focus on the Theme:

Complete this formula: When a ADJECTIVE NOUN (protagonist) wants GOAL, he/she must learn THEME in order to FINAL OUTCOME.

How to Prepare for the Pitch Your Shorts Pitch Session

Okay, now that I’ve filled your brain with all those options and formulas for pitches, let’s talk about the specifics for Pitch Your Shorts.

My post on January 10th will open the pitch session with the Entangled Publishing editors.  We’ll be leaving a two-sentence pitch and the first 100 words of our stories in the comments of that post.

Did you catch that?  This is a two-sentence pitch.  Not a one-sentence logline or a five-sentence query paragraph.

Some of the formulas above are geared more toward single sentences, so we’ll need to tweak them if that’s the method we use.  Maybe the formula skipped some of the pitch elements listed above and the second sentence can mention those aspects of the story.  Or maybe the two sentences would each focus on a different character (think romantic hero and heroine).

Remember that Entangled is looking for 10-60K stories with strong romantic elements.  That means the pitch should make the romantic potential clear.

Again, some of the above formulas focus more on the antagonist or conflict, so they’ll need to be adjusted if the romance is separate from those elements.  An awesome pitch filled with goals, motivations, and conflict won’t work if there’s no hint of romantic potential.

I went through the pitches selected by the Entangled editors at a previous pitch session and noted the methods used by each “winning” pitch.

• one used Focus on the Inciting Incident,
• one used Focus on the Conflict,
• one used Focus on the Inciting Incident for the first sentence about the hero and Focus on the Character for the second sentence about the heroine,
• one was closest to  Focus on the Emotions,
• and one used Focus on the Goal.

Obviously, the authors all tweaked the formulas in some way, but I think it’s valuable to see there’s no “one right way” to write a pitch that will catch an editor’s eye.

Other Resources for Learning about Pitches

For general research, check out Elizabeth S. Craig’s Writer’s Knowledge Base and Pitch University.  Other helpful posts that include pitch examples are:  The Writer’s Alley: The Elevator Pitch and Literary Rambles: Basics of an Elevator Pitch.

Have you written a pitch before?  Did you use a formula or one of the methods above?  Do formulas help you structure a pitch?  Did I miss any pitch-writing methods?  Do you have questions about any of those methods?

(Feel free to list your pitch below to get feedback, and feel free to comment on others’ pitches.  Comments on this post are not part of the pitch session.)