Is “Romance” a Bad Word?
Recently, two best-selling authors have insisted that they don’t write romance novels. In fact, they both acted like romance novels were beneath them. No, they’re writing more important stories about life and death and war and taxes. Well, maybe not the taxes part.
Why all the hating on romance novels?
First of all, if someone insists they don’t write romance novels when everyone and their sister-in-law believes they do, does that mean anything? Do they think booksellers will change where they’re shelved? Do they think their fans will feel better with that news? (Hey, what do you know? I read important literature.)
Or will it alienate their fans? After all, don’t their readers know darn well what they read and in many cases, probably don’t shy away from reading romance? If they act like they’re too good for romance, is that putting down their readers?
Second of all, what’s so bleeping wrong with romance novels that two authors want to turn their back on the genre that handed them their success? The romance genre is the most heavily read genre. What’s wrong with being associated with popularity?
Is this like how the Oscars rarely award Best Picture to the highest-grossing films? If something is popular, does that make it less important?
Say It Loud and Proud—Love and Romance ARE Important
Well, color me frustrated and befuddled here because I just don’t get it. In my mind, love is the most important and powerful thing in the world. Love drives parents to sacrifice more than they ever thought possible. Love inspires spouses to change themselves and become better people. Love gives the heartbroken hope for future happiness. Love strengthens us.
What’s so wrong with celebrating love?
And I don’t want to hear any excuses about the formulaic stories. Every genre has its formula. Every mystery has to solve the case at the end of the book. Every thriller has to stop the bad guy from blowing up the world. And within the romance genre, the single-title stories (i.e. non-category) stretch far beyond a simple romance plot. Nope, that excuse doesn’t cut it.
What about the fact that it’s written by women for women? Maybe. But you know what could fix that problem? Romance readers should stop acting ashamed. And just as importantly, romance writers shouldn’t be ashamed. Romance books are not less than other types of novels. They are real stories with important messages and positive values.
Romance novels are not porn. I have yet to see a romance novel get its jollies by having the heroine subjugate, objectify, and emasculate the hero. In fact, romance novels do the opposite. They celebrate men and all their strengths. The happy ending often means that the hero’s weaknesses are healed—not exploited. The happy ending is uplifting—for both of the characters.
So let me state for the record: I read romance. I write romance. Even my urban fantasy stories that are about big important things like terrorism, genocide, and freewill vs. destiny have the theme of love at their core. You will never hear me bad-mouthing the whole genre. If I break this promise, I expect you all to lash me with a wet noodle—publicly.
What’s your theory for why romance is scorned more than other genres? If you read romance, are you able to state without shame that you read those kinds of stories? If not, why not? If you write them, do you embrace the genre?
Sing it, sister, and I will proudly join the chorus. I READ ROMANCE, I WRITE ROMANCE AND I’M PROUD OF IT!
Woohoo! Yeah, that’s how you do it. 🙂 Thanks, J. Leigh!
Hi Jami! Great rant! I embrace the genre, even though I’ve had numerous people tell me I should be writing comedy like Erma B. or, (my personal favorite?) you should be writing something with a little more substance because you do think deeply. So, um, because I love, and choose to write romance, I’m an airhead? Hilarious! Geez, if only these misguided and opinionated people knew how hard it was just to write a freaking novel. *shakes head here* I write romance because I find the relationships between men and women fascinating – and your blog topic would be one I’d explore with my characters even. You know why? Because women make a better case for the inequity of the situation with women issues than men do. Take for instance, the two authors you brought up. Hmm… I’m thinking men can dis the subject and women may get hot under-the-collar because of their male ignorance, but we can excuse it, to some degree, because they’re not women, right? They don’t think like us, process feelings and emotions like us, so yeah, maybe the subject isn’t one that directly appeals to them – and how can you argue with that. So, *pats man on head* that’s okay, go blow-up something, dinner will be ready at 5. BUT when women do it? Well, now, this is a totally different thing, isn’t it? All of a sudden the cut is deeper – sharper, and the attempt to diminish the feminine issue is totally… — Read More »
Hi Murphy,
Thanks for the back-up! 🙂
One of those best-selling authors is female and one is male. I’ll cut him some slack because several of his books don’t have the requisite Happily Ever After ending. Truthfully, I think he kills off the hero or heroine specifically to avoid the romance label. After all, his stories follow the romance formula up until the last few pages. Like a giant tongue sticking out at his readers. *sigh* But that’s a rant for another day.
And you’re exactly right. The assumption is that romance novels can’t be deep. That if you’re a deep thinker and write romance, you must be wasting your talents rather than, say, oh I don’t know, writing romances with deep plots and characters.
Yeah, this whole thing chaps my hide. I know the male author you’re talking about. I’ve mentioned him before in a blog. I refuse to read his books now. Just because you kill off important characters in your book does not mean it’s some Literary (with a capital L of course) masterpiece and not a love story/romance. Whatevs.
And I’m SO sick of people looking at romance as a subpar genre. Like you said it’s the bestselling genre, so someone is reading them. And if people think they are easy to write, they should give one a try. (I ranted about the romance novel stigma here a few months ago: http://fictiongroupie.blogspot.com/2010/05/battling-romance-novel-stigma.html ).
Great post!
Hi Roni,
Yep, I’ve read one of his books and won’t read any more (or go to the movies based on his books). Like I said, I could do a whole post ranting about his books, as the one I read and did have a happy ending, used my most-hated cheap author trick – Let’s hide the truth from the reader even though the POV character knows it and would be thinking about it. *sigh*
And yes, to both you and Murphy, anyone who thinks it’s easy to write to this “formula” shouldn’t make that assumption until they successfully write and sell one. 🙂
*sniff* The part about love in the center made me teary eyed. Thanks for writing, and being proud of writing Romance.
Rachel,
LOL! Thanks! You should see some of the “rants” I put in my stories along those lines. Oh, wait, you will. 🙂
Hmmm, women commenting that they enjoy reading and writing romance novels. Dog bites man. (Wait! Don’t let the dog attack yet.)
How about this ladies, -I-, a red blooded American male also enjoy romance novels. Man bites dog. (Don’t call the ASPCA.) My wife reads them and will recommend ones she thinks I’d like. Other times, she’ll come by my man cave when I’m working from home and give me a detailed summary of the story. I love it. There have been times where I’ve finished a series before her.
It reminds me of Fred Savage in the Princess Bride. At the beginning he was complaining about it being “a kissing book” but by the end he looked forward to Westley & Buttercup’s kiss.
As to why I think the bad rap exists, two things come to mind. The book covers and Harlequin’s crappy reputation for pumping out quantity over quality.
Anyhow, one man’s thoughts. So ladies, hurry up and get your books published, I need something to read during halftime.
Hey there, Tech Guy!
Wow, I finally posted something to bring you out of lurker mode. I’m honored. 🙂
Yeah, I’ll agree with you that the covers of some of the books don’t help with the story inside being taken seriously. And yes, the Harlequin category stories have a less deep plot because of word count restrictions (they’re like the fast food of the genre – that’s not a slam, but more a description of why many women like them), but there’s so much more to the other Harlequin imprints and the romance genre at large that it’s a shame others assume there’s nothing more to any of them.
[…] my last post, we had a lively discussion in the comments that prompted me to think about things authors do to […]
[…] As I’ve said before, this is why romance novels are not porn. There’s no insulting or denigrating of men. Sure, the heroes are usually good-looking, but that’s not why the heroine stays with him at the end. The heroine ends up with the hero because he makes her feel treasured. That’s not an impossible standard or fantasy. […]
I sincerely hope I don’t sound mean, Jami (I’m the same way trying to preach my gospel that animal fantasy is NOT just for preschoolers) but while I read romance, I don’t write it for the very reasons you speak to above, it’s NOT easy to write one as some people assume. I agree there’s more to a well executed romance than sex, but some stories do insist (If not outright DEMAND) it’s there in some way more than others, and you should know better than me (I know don’t read as much romance as you or Romi do) a bad sex scene can ruin an otherwise decent story. I don’t agree with the one of the comments that said men don’t grasp the emotional substance good romance offers. I”m a man, and I’ve NEVER had that problem, I probably freak out most of my writer friends (Who are mostly women) for being more explosive in my emotions than they are, and they possess the more calm and cool demeanor we often think “All Men” have. Not in my case, though. As far as the “For women, by women” thing, I think part of the problem is men don’t always feel welcome. For me personally, I often felt more comfortable in forums that were mostly female, a lot of the male dominated communities felt WAY too jerky and one-note, and while I hate to make generalites because they were often my downfall in school (Or anywhere else) women don’t always… — Read More »
Hi Taurean,
Oh yes, there are different levels of heat in romances, that’s for sure. Some romances have only a kiss, and some romp in the explicit and the exotic. I’ll agree that a bad sex scene (or *gasp* too many of them) can ruin a story. (I’ve unfortunately read books with both of those situations.) However, the problem of bad sex scenes aren’t limited to romance. Most of the worst sex scenes are in other genres. (There’s an “award” for bad sex scenes and I’ve never seen a romance in the nominee list–so the bad scenes can get much worse. LOL!)
I agree with you that men can very much appreciate the emotions of romance stories. One of my main go-to beta readers is male, and he probably reads more romance than other genres. But you’re also right that most men that write in the genre take on female pen names to be accepted. Personally, I’ve never paid attention to whether an author was really a male. 🙂
You’re not alone in your reaction to reading romance either. Yes, they can be guilty pleasures, and/or they can help people have a healthier relationship with their sexuality. Neither of those are bad. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
Glad you got what I said was in a positive light, Jami. Thanks for replying. As you might’ve read in my comment on Janice Hardy’s blog post about “Growing Pain Books” I realized the characters in my YA novel are going to explore romance in a more provocative way than what I usually write.
While I know someone who commented on Janice’s post said you just need to slog through it, it’s also true some writers just access it easier than others.
Awkwardness aside, some authors LOVE writing about sex, and it shows, even in the “bad stuff.” Right?
I think a person’s perception of sexuality is also influenced by where they grew up. Or how they were raised. When you grew up in a family and/or part of the world where nearly all you see and hear are all the negative or scary results of sex (Rape, Teen Pregnancy, STDs, etc), you’re blind to the positive aspects, and if you were one of the rare few under 30 who’ve NEVER been on a date (Like me), reading romance is a powerful experience in a different way than those who’ve experienced the positives in real life do.
Is that fair to say, Jami?
Hi Taurean, Yes, I did see your comment over at Janice’s blog, so I understand your deeper interest in this topic. 🙂 And you’re absolutely right that some authors are more comfortable writing about sex than others. However, just as any other activity, that level of comfort is something that can be learned, grown, expanded on, etc. over time. I would guess most romance writers started off feeling squeamish when writing sex scenes, but as they learned more about what works and what doesn’t, what boundaries they’re interested in pushing and what ones they aren’t, they reached a point where those scenes aren’t that much different from other scenes. I didn’t have a “sex-positive” upbringing, so I understand where you’re coming from far more than you might guess. 🙂 I was one of those writers who thought “I’ll never be able to do that.” But reading romance helped me to see that there was nothing wrong those desires and emotions, that they were natural and, in fact, healthy. When I wrote my first sex scene (which is in an unfinished, trunked story), I actually wrote it from the hero’s perspective–maybe that helped me add a bit of distance between my experiences and the story. Maybe an opposite POV approach would help you when you tackle uncomfortable scenes too–at least the first time (and you don’t have to keep the scene at all or keep it in that POV, but taking that approach, at least initially, might help you break those… — Read More »
I was clicking through recommended posts when I found this! 😀 Well, you know my changed attitude towards romance, so I won’t repeat that story, lol. Yes, why on earth do people scorn romance? And I also hate how some people think that very popular equals not great. (Thankfully Frozen is an exception to their rule. 😀 ) And I hate how people assume that just because perhaps most romances are written by women, that men don’t write romance. Actually, they DO. I’ve actually made a whole list of male authors who write romances or stories with prominent romance arcs, which includes Charles Dickens and Isaac Asimov! 😀 (And don’t forget Nicholas Sparks. 😉 ) It’s as if just because it seems most romances are written by women (I’m even starting to doubt this claim), that they think men are “biologically incapable of writing or enjoying romances”, what??? But I am aware of the social pressure for men to not admit that they like romance (because it’s a “girlish” thing), and probably there’s a similar pressure for men not to write romance—although some men overcame that social pressure anyway. 😉 In fact, I have a male friend who was introducing this new favorite anime of his, which was dark romance. And I went, “:O Omg you’re a guy who admits he likes romance!” He was surprised that I said that, because he was UNAWARE that there was this “social rule” for men to not like romance!!! :O Lol. Another male… — Read More »
Hi Serena,
Ha! I love that you’ve made a list of male authors who write romance arcs. Far more stories include a romance angle than most people realize. 🙂 I’ve also mentioned that one of my beta readers is male, so I know they can enjoy reading them too.
But for authors who write within the romance genre, the percentages definitely skew female. At the romance-focused writing conferences I’ve attended, there are usually only a handful of men among the thousands of women (and some of those are the husbands of a husband/wife writing team).
Like you said, I see romance as a HUMAN thing. After all, most relationships include both genders, and gays certainly aren’t going around saying they have no interest in relationships simply because “they’re men *manly grunt*.” LOL! Thanks for the comment!
Lol at the manly grunt. Hmm I’m guessing that one reason why there are very few male authors in the romance genre, is because you get to choose genres to classify your book in, and men probably feel pressured to NOT put it under romance. And for literary classics, I would put almost all of Charles Dickens’ works that I’ve read so far under the romance genre, lol! So yeah that problem with literary classics usually not put under “Romance” but under “classics” or “literary”. For the Chinese martial arts stories I love, they are action/ adventure, but are SO prominently romantic, that I think they really should be put under BOTH the action/ adventure AND romance genres, lol. So that’s an example of whether you want to CHOOSE the category romance or action/ adventure for your book. Even for my current story, I have a choice of either action/ adventure or romantic comedy. Though romance runs through the whole novel, there are also SO many fight scenes, and the adventure events make up the “other plot” apart from the romance plot. (So basically I have the adventure plot and the romance plot running side by side.) In the past, I would definitely choose action/ adventure when CreateSpace asks me to pick a category, because I didn’t want to be seen as someone who writes romances because some of the people I know scorn romances. 🙁 (Sad, isn’t it?) HOWEVER, now I love romance very much, and don’t care about… — Read More »
Hi Serena,
Exactly! I would bet most men who write “romances” market them as plain suspense, thriller, adventure, political, science fiction, fantasy, etc.
From RWA’s point of view, to be considered part of the “romance genre,” a story must contain two elements: “a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.” So RWA might not count stories where the romance is just a subplot–and overshadowed–by a non-romance plot (the romance wouldn’t be “central” to the story then), but romance has many subgenres that include very strong subplots, like romantic thrillers/suspense and paranormal romance. In those subgenres, a satisfying ending of the subplot is just as important as a satisfying ending of the romance.
I’ve learned so much since I started writing in the genre too. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
Woah… guess that definition excludes tragic (sadly ever after) romances, then? 🙁
Mmm, what if the romance plot and the action/ adventure plot are EQUALLY important to the story? I.e. equally central? As they are in my story? (So it’s 2 main plots—the “dual threads”—rather than 1 main plot and 1 subplot…) Would my story count as a romance, then?
Although if I HAVE to choose one as my “more main” plot and the other as my “less main” plot, I would choose my romantic comedy plotline as more important and central than my action/ adventure plotline. But would that sound like a romantic action/adventure story rather than a romance? O_O
But it’s also subjective as to how you decide which plot is more prominent. Some people, like me, would think my story’s most centered on the romance, whereas some other people would interpret the romance plot as just a “pleasant spicing” for the story, and that the real story is the action/ adventure events…
Hi Serena,
Correct. A story can be romantic and even include a love story and NOT be part of the “romance genre.” (Think, most of Nicholas Sparks’s books, with the tragic death.) It’s the difference between the labels of “romantic” or “love story” and the more definitive “romance.” The romance genre requires a happy ending for the love story. 🙂
For some stories, the non-romance subplot is really more of a plot. And as you said, plot vs. subplot could be a subjective label. People will often “see” what they want to see (the elements they’re more interested in). I think as long as the romance itself isn’t the subplot, it could still be labeled as romance. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!
Oh! Interesting that romances require a happy ending, whereas love stories don’t. Yikes! I’ve actually never read any Nicholas Sparks before, but now I know how they end…-_-
Yeah, I’ll just label my story a romantic comedy, lol! Since THE AUTHOR HERSELF considers the romance a non-subplot (even if her readers think it IS a subplot).
Hi Serena,
LOL! Yeah, Nicholas Sparks typically has one of the characters die by cancer or an accident or something right at the end. O.o I think he does it so his books AREN’T in the romance genre. (He’s said that he thinks his books are more important than that. *gives a side-eye glare*)
Yep, “romantic comedy” covers all the bases. 🙂 Those who want to consider it a romance can, and those who don’t want to don’t have to. Thanks for the comment!
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